Oof, this is going to be a long one… I’m a black, queer nonbinary person who has been struggling with my gender more intensely for a little over three years now. I never truly felt connected to my femininity, even at a young age I preferred to engage in more masculine activities and associated more with men than I did women, for a while I thought something was wrong with me so I delved into my computer and did some research. Something about this newfound discussion of “what gender truly is” clicked with me and I began my journey; I cycled through so many names, pronouns, and identity’s before settling on the nonbinary label because it works best for me. I’m frustrated that I’m young and in my current living situation I can’t truly express how I feel on the inside (I even have a fraternal twin who has been experimenting with his gender presentation as well even though we’re both in the same boat whereas we have to express who we are behind closed doors!) and I don’t feel as though it’s even possible to express who I am on the outside? For instance, I don’t hate my female body all the time, I just with I could change it for certain periods of time? The idea of anything permanent scares me and I’m worried that my idea of gender is more deeply rooted in my social presence and how society views me rather than how I actually feel? Like I get this sudden rush of euphoria when I’m referred to as “sir” or “Mr” but I wouldn’t want to be a boy all the time, so to speak… it’s like, I’d be fine as either a man or a woman but I don’t even know what that means? I want to present as a mix of being a man and a woman, an entirely new presentation that changes a little each day, however does this make me.. less nonbinary? I have no dysphoria towards my name though I haven’t been able to find a new one that suits me because everyone tells me how much they just “love” my name and I shouldn’t change it. I’m too afraid to go on hormones, surgery, or anything that could permanently change me because I’m afraid of not being able to have flexibility in how I present myself. I just don’t know what I’m feeling and I don’t know what I want… With so many toxic people causing me to question myself and my choices and my experiences, being gender nonconforming feels beyond impossible and I feel as though I’m twiddling my thumbs and waiting for this “phase” to end because it’s “wrong” for me to even feel slightly androgynous… Reading your comics always puts a smile on my face and even though we have different experiences, it makes me feel a little less alone. I wanted to thank you for that firstly. Finally, I say all this to ask from advice. Do I try to wait it out until College or better yet, freedom from my current home, to truly experiment with myself and find out what being nonbinary truly means to me? Is it different for everyone or am I just delusional in thinking that my experiences come even close to “actually” being nonbinary? I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface and I’m so afraid of hiding from myself because of what other people think of me… I’m afraid that I’m not “really” nonbinary because I currently don’t desire any permanent changes to my body. How do I shake that feeling? How do I go about loving myself and accept myself as a… they? Sorry for the long read and thank you for making your amazing comics!

If this isn’t an uncomfortable question, do you feel any bottom dysphoria? Do you consider doing bottom cirurgy at some point?
I’m a trans male and my biggest problem is bottom dysphoria.

Would you ever consider top surgery? Or are you fine wearing a binder? Like for me I wanna get surgery so badly, but some of my friends telling not to and that breasts are so ‘great’! and I’ll regret it in the future.

What tips would you give to nonbinary folks who are just coming to terms with the facts that they are nonbinary?

How would you recommend coming out as nonbinary to people that may not understand? (Especially if you’ve known them forever???)

What’s your favorite color??